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DISCLAIMERS FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS SITE E-MAIL ME This page was written by Compendium creator Ngoc in the early days of the site (ca. 1997) and has been updated by the current site keeper, Renata (31 December 2000). DISCLAIMER: This site is EXTREMELY UNOFFICIAL, it is in no way, shape or manner affiliated with Kenneth Branagh, his office, family, friends, colleagues, associates, or pets, or stuffed animals. The Compendium is decidedly tongue-in-cheek in tone and (preferably) written during a state of alcohol-, drug-, and/or potent glue- induced intoxication, so if you think what you read isn't funny or doesn't make sense, don't worry--it probably isn't and it probably doesn't. Don't sweat it. If you happen to be an associate, colleague, friend, relative, pet or stuffed animal of Ken and read what you feel is a defamatory or libelous remark about him on this site, please don't bring it to his attention until the year 2004 or thereabouts. (By then I'll have completed law school and will be able to represent myself in court proceedings, thereby saving a shiteload of money.)
Uhhhhmmmm, so Nockie isn't in law school (now that's a *really* smart kid!) and she's always been a tee-totaller, but she and I do mean everything else said above: this site has been created without the knowledge or endorsement of Kenneth Branagh, it is intended as a source of information and strives to provide said information in a relatively entertaining manner.
THE COPYRIGHT THING: All copyrighted material is the property of its owners, use of these materials is strictly intended for non-commercial, non-profit, solely-for-kicks purposes, no copyright infringment is intended, yada yada yada blah blah blah. Credit for these materials is given where possible, and if asked, I will remove specific items whose authors write me a nasty letter telling me to remove it.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS SITE Q. Are you Ken?
A. No. And as much as I enjoy the regular barrage of love letters, recipes, film script proposals, interview requests, congratulations on his latest film and other notes addressed to Mr Branagh that I receive, you're much better off sending those to his office, the address of which is:
Kenneth Branagh
Building 124
Longcross Film Studios
Chobham Lane
Chertsey Surrey KT16 0EE
ENGLANDQ. Do you know if Ken is wired?
A. Well, he does tend to speak at quite a high CSPM (complex sentences per minute) rate in interviews, but this is due more to his passionate enthusiasm for whatever he's talking about rather than to, say, excessive caffeine intake or other artificial-substance abuse.
Q. Um, I mean wired electronically. Is there an e-mail address where I can reach him?
A. I'm sure his office has ventured into the world of cyberspace in one way or another, but as for a public e-mail address - none available, I'm afraid.
Q. Bummer. Has Ken ever visited this site?
A. Not that I know of. But Renata knows: most definitely not. (Phew!)
Q. Have you ever met him?
A. Nope. I've had a few opportunities to in the past, but various circumstances got in the way. I know lotsa folks who've met him, though, and he's a very nice bloke, from all reports. (Except the one from a little girl who said he snuck up behind her and snatched a mini-Mars bar out of her hand when they ran out of hors d'oeuvres at a Hamlet post-screening reception.)
Q. You're joking!
A. I am, actually. It was probably a Snickers.
So Ngoc did finally meet Kenneth (as did I) at the Golden Quill Award Ceremony in London, 16 January 2000. You can see 'he-really-is-a-very-nice-bloke' Ken being a very nice bloke even in the terrifying context of a picture with dozens of Ken-Friends, including us.
Q. I wanna read gossip about the REAL reason why Ken and Em broke up, not to mention Ken and Helena gossip, but I can't find that a section on that here. How come?
A. Ken's very private when it comes to his personal life, and I'd like to respect that as much as possible. Moreover, I wouldn't dream of encroaching on the territory of the ever-diligent and respectable British tabloid press, who have the aforementioned topics pretty well covered.
Q. This site is HONKIN' HUGE!!! How'd you accumulate so much crap--er, information--about him?
A. Well, most of the credit has to go to the professors at my alma mater, the University of California, Berkeley (recently ranked #1 in the nation for campus drug and alcohol arrests--YEE HAW!!! Take that, Stanfurd!), whose assignments provided the impetus to develop a very efficient system (predicated on slackerdom and sheer laziness) through which the very limits of procrastination were tested. In other words, it's midnight and I'm sitting in front of the computer with 8 hours to go before 20 pages of analytical b.s. on the fall of fascism has to be turned in. Do I research and write that up, or do I arrange my Ken photos on-line according to hair color and length? Tough call. Anyway, four years and a college degree later I've got the biggest testament to psychotic obsession my therapist has ever seen. Tuition money well spent, I'd say...;)
The site is also so huge thanks to the many cool people who send me pictures, articles and news. To the scanners and typers and emailers extraordinaire: thank you!
Q. So with all that procrastination time available, how come the design of the Compendium is so simple and basic?
A. Sorry, I'm creatively- and artistically-challenged, as politically correct folks would say. Not one artistic bone in my body, I'm afraid. But at least the Compendium loads quickly. :) I do plan on befriending a professional webmaster in the near future, though, so when that happens this site will have a killer design. Until then, I'm quite pleased with my ability to change the font of sentences and center the occasional graphic.
Forget the professional webmaster, we're sticking to quick-loading and easy to update. Ken's mile-a-minute working life provides the thrills on this site. :-)
Q. I'd like to use some of the photos on this site for my own site. Would that be okay?
A. Yeah, use whatever you'd like.
Q. I'd like to put a link to this site on my own site. Would that be okay?
A. Yeah, of course.
Still have a question? Drop me a line at renata@branaghcompendium.com
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